September 11, 2012
Getty Images
Getty Images

We’ve all done some horrible things in our lives. Perhaps nothing so egregious as, say, repeatedly battering the woman we supposedly love over and over again in her beautiful face, then remaining defiant and put upon for years to come after the world had the temerity to call us out on it, but, you know everyone is different.

The point is, most of us don’t go out and get a tattoo of our lowest moment on our neck, especially because people with neck tattoos have so many lowest moments to choose from that it makes the curatorial process overwhelming. The rich and powerful and creative are different than you and I, however. Like famed tough guy and perpetually confused back up dancer who accidentally wandered to the front of the stage of life Chris Brown, for example. This week Brown, at long last, finally submitted his mixed-media thesis in a years long effort to complete his MFA in Trolling, with the revelation of a tasteful new tattoo that appears, at least to the untrained eye, to be of erstwhile girlfriend and punching bag Rihanna’s broken face.

Sources close to Brown have told TMZ that it’s purely coincidental that the brashly petulant man child got a highly visible tattoo that every one in the world could see that looks like the scene of his most infamous crime. “It’s a random woman,” they say.

Oh, that makes us feel much better. Just some unfamous woman’s broken face. Nothing to really get all worked up about there then. You people need to let it go and just let Breezy be Breezy.

On the plus side, the tattoo does serve as a convenient target for anyone looking for a good place to karate kick Brown in the jugular.

Impressive as this feat of stupidity is, it still doesn’t hold a candle to this guy.

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