BULLETT

Remember when people used to always say, “Remember when MTV actually played music videos?” (Glad they stopped saying that.) They haven’t stopped giving out awards to music videos, however, because the internet just told me the nominations for the 2012 MTV Video Music Awards (VMAs) are in. The king and queen of the prom this year are Rihanna and Drake, with five nods each, although, as MTV points out: “if you count the vids Rihanna is featured in, including ‘Take Care’ with Drake, she’s nominated 11 times” which I don’t really understand how that works, but have it your way, MTV. Remember when they used to teach kids math in school?

Here’s a list of the major categories, including Best Video with a Message, which is probably a call back to the heyday of the ’90s when every other video was Aerosmith teaching important life lessons to teenagers I suppose, and Best Electronic Dance Video, a new category this year, because: Skrillex.

We’ve included our picks for who should win below. Share your own in the comments!

Video of the Year
Katy Perry, “Wide Awake” – Never saw it, don’t care.
Gotye, “Somebody That I Used To Know” – Obviously will win all the awards.
Rihanna, “We Found Love” – Sentimental favorite, could win, I suppose. I literally couldn’t care less either way though, so let’s just move on.
Drake, featuring Rihanna, “Take Care” – Probably not a good thing to admit, being a music writer, but never once intentionally listened to a Drake song.
M.I.A., “Bad Girls” – For buzz cred.

Best Pop Video
fun., featuring Janelle Monáe, “We Are Young” – Started feeling a lot less depressed about this song once I realized dude was on the wrong side of 30 as well.
One Direction, “What Makes You Beautiful” – Fans vote for these, right? This one is a lock then.
Rihanna, “We Found Love”
Justin Bieber, “Boyfriend” – Wait, never mind what I said before. If only we could figure out a way to get Kristen Stewart to cheat on Justin Bieber, can you imagine all the jobs that would add to the internet content recycling economy?
Maroon 5, featuring Wiz Khalifa, “Payphone” – No.

Best Rock Video
Coldplay, “Paradise” – Keep this between us, but I let this one play through when it comes on the radio and no one else is around to see me.
The Black Keys, “Lonely Boy” – Too bad 35-year-old bartenders in bands don’t watch these things, because this would be a shoe in.
Linkin Park, “Burn It Down” – Needs more dubstep.
Jack White, “Sixteen Saltines” – No idea what this is. Awful name. Jack White is basically this generation’s Paul McCartney, right? Showing up to all these things way past the point where anyone gives a shit anymore.
Imagine Dragons, “It’s Time” – Little too much of a—what’s the word?—actual song to stand a chance here.

Best Hip-Hop Video
Childish Gambino, “Heartbeat” – “This isn’t real hip-hop.” — some super serious 40 year old getting mad about teenagers.
Drake, featuring Lil Wayne, “HYFR” [repeat above throughout]
Kanye West, featuring Pusha T, Big Sean & 2 Chainz, “Mercy”
Watch the Throne, “Paris”
Nicki Minaj, featuring 2 Chainz, “Beez in the Trap”

Check out the rest of the nominations here.

Make Luke O’Neil feel better about his life choices on Twitter.