While everyone was getting day drunk and enjoying the last vestiges of summer, Taylor Swift quietly (okay, not so quietly) dropped what people in the EDM world might call a “banger.” Swift debuted her new track, “Ready For It,” during the lead-up to a college football game between Alabama and Florida State… which is perhaps why not a single Taylor Swift fan heard it before it hit the Internet. It’s a pretty strange way to premiere a song, but no stranger than, say, partnering with UPS.
But let’s get to the song, because boy oh boy, it’s… something. First off, it totally undermines the message in “Look What You Made Me Do,” in which Taylor claims to have murdered “the old Taylor.” On “Ready For It,” old Tay is back and better than ever, musing intimately about a romance. These lyrics seem to confirm that the song is about Swift’s current flame, Joe Alwyn:
Some boys are tryin’ too hard
He don’t try at all though
Younger than my exes but he act like such a man so
Alwyn is just 26, significantly younger than Swift’s most recent exes (Calvin Harris and Tom Hiddleston, 33 and 36 respectively).
But even worse than the lyrics (which are so, so bad), is the fact that Taylor is… rapping? Is this rapping? Oof. And then there’s the beat, which is synth-heavy gobbledigook – the sort of thing that brings to mind underage kids overdosing on MDMA amidst a cloud of fog. It’s… it’s no good. No good, Taylor. No good.