December 18, 2012

Some people know what they’re looking for when they order a beer; I, on the other hand, just go with whoever’s got the coolest name and/or raddest logo, because I’m a child. Which means I’ll pretty much be ordering the Game of Thrones tie-in beer forever and always after it rolls out in the spring courtesy of Ommegang, in coincidence with the launch of the show’s third season*. The first beer will be called Iron Throne Blonde Ale, which is a nifty bit of show trivia because, you see (pushing glasses up nose), the Iron Throne is currently held by Joffrey Baratheon and the Lannister clan, and the Lannisters are famed for their blonde hair. Along those lines, we should expect to see:

  • Winterfell Winter Ale
  • Dornish Summer Brew
  • Whatever type of beer tastes most like incest
  • There’s got to be a better joke about “Vale Ale,” but I’m not making it

And so forth. Alas, I wish I could offer a better joke, but the best comment, ever, comes from a woman on the original NYTimes article, who remarks: “Bet it doesn’t keep its head for very long.” Sounds like someone’s got a future in late night!

* Also fun: The third season’s episodes will run a little longer than last, which prompted a string of sub-sexual grunting I read the news, no joke. The human subconscious is truly fucked.

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