Remember a couple of weeks ago when Lindsay Lohan tweeted at president Obama that millionaires need tax cuts too? Seemed weird at the time, right? (Although I’m not really sure anything counts as weird when we’re talking about LiLo anymore. Maybe an actual acting job done to completion?) An altercation between Lohan and a giant douche gentleman on Saturday night at the W Hotel in New York City may shed some light on her conservative policy-making concerns — she’s hanging out with Republican congressional staffers now. And by “hanging out” I mean, “getting choked by.” Allegedly, that is, although you can probably consider that qualifier as a given for any story concerning the alleged actress.
According to the tiny paranoid coke sprites that are crawling around inside her head, not to mention video that was almost definitely being recorded by the feds looking in the window with high-powered telescope lenses you guys, look you can see the little light right there, a man named Christian LaBella was snapping candid photos of Lohan partying after hours at the hotel on Saturday. LaBella, you may or may not be surprised to know, is a congressional aid for Illinois Republican John Shimkus. The New York Daily News has the story:
Cops say Lohan took Christian LaBella’s cellphone so she could delete pictures of her partying — and he got physical with her trying to get it back.
After Lohan called the cops, LaBella was initially charged with misdemeanor assault for Sunday’s blowup at the W Hotel Union Square.
But law enforcement sources said the assault rap will be dropped — and LaBella, 25, and Lohan, 26, will both be hit with low-level harassment violations.
Lohan had met LaBella, almost certainly a horrible person via 1) he’s a Republican congressional staffer, 2) a dude who worms his way into Lohan’s party orbit, 3) and the type of guy who takes secret pictures of people he’s hanging out with, at 1 Oak that night. After she noticed him taking pictures she “snatched the phone from the Los Angeles man in a suite on the 15th floor, and the pair tussled on a bed before she ran and locked herself in a bathroom with LaBella in hot pursuit, sources said,” the New York Post writes.
“When Lohan emerged from the bathroom,” if you know what we mean, “LaBella again chased her, and then allegedly began choking the addled actress in hotel stairwell of the 15th floor room before Lohan managed to call cops, sources said. Lohan then pulled a fire alarm to shut down the elevators and prevent LaBella from escaping.”
No word on how the rest of the hotel’s guests felt about the fire alarm being pulled because some guy was taking cell phone pics of some lady, but those people are probably not famous, so screw them.
LaBella, you won’t be at all surprised to know, has pictures of himself with Kim Kardashian, as well as Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan on his Facebook page, as if it wasn’t evident that literally everyone involved in this story is a major shithead.
As for Congressman Shimkus, he’s a high ranking Congressman involved in environmental and energy policy-making who’s also a climate change denier known for saying things like “The Earth will end only when God declares it’s time to be over. Man will not destroy this Earth. This Earth will not be destroyed by a Flood…I do believe that God’s word is infallible, unchanging, perfect”, just in case you didn’t think there were already enough flavors of crazy involved here.
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