January 16, 2013

Ever since Michael Jackson’s death, a bloody war has raged amongst pop music’s premier superstars for the right to claim the abdicated throne and be anointed as the King or Queen of Pop. At one point, Justin Timberlake looked like he was ready to fulfill his destiny, but he decided he’d rather star in unwatchable movies. (No, there’s no redeeming In Time. Sit down.) But Lady Gaga may be ready to definitively jam the crown of thorns over her head by taking on what would be one of the most grandiose, ostentatious vanity projects of all-time: rehabilitating Jackson’s Neverland Ranch, the adult playground where he held court over most of his adult life.

The Sun notes that Gaga’s befriended Jacko’s sister La Toya, and claims to be interested in buying a share in the ranch — the rights to which are jointly owned by members of his family and an investment group—so that she could help with the costs of renovation. Granted it’s The Sun, but it’s also well-known that Gaga purchased a shitload of Jackson memorabilia at a Beverly Hills auction, which isn’t the type of thing just any insanely bored, rich person would do— just an insanely bored, rich person who happens to be a huge Michael Jackson fan. It’s not too much of a stretch, then, to imagine Gaga forcibly declaring herself the Queen of all Pop for all-time by inextricably linking herself with Jackson’s legacy. It’s also not too much of a stretch to imagine her cutting out the innards of a squid head and wearing it as underwear, but I digress.

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