February 10, 2013

Justin Bieber was shut out of the Grammy Awards this year, news that he called a “big bummer” when he appeared on the The Ellen DeGeneres Show in December, not noting that this was literally the first time anyone has ever said no to him in his short-ass life. He kept things in perspective at the time, adding, “It’s definitely something I was looking forward to…But I know that it’ll happen one day,” and pointing out that he’s “blessed to just be able to do what I love every day.”

What he does every day, it seems, is crush his enemies, see them driven before him, and hear the lamentation of their women, because he announced just before his hosting gig on Saturday Night Live this weekend, that he doesn’t need your stupid Grammy Awards. I’m going to have my own Grammys, he said, holding his breath in the closet until his dinner got cold and then sort of slinking downstairs doing that one pouty face he does after a while wondering if anyone noticed he was gone.

“I’m gonna do an hour live video stream tomorrow at 8 est I’m gonna play some new music and answer questions send this to ur friend :)” he wrote on Twitter [sic everything].

As Rolling Stone points out, “After the Grammy nominations were announced in December, Bieber’s manager, Scooter Braun, vented his dismay over the singer’s absence on the list on Twitter: ‘I just plain DISAGREE. The kid deserved it. Grammy board u blew it on this one,’ Braun wrote.”

HE SEEMS MAD.

Last year’s telecast was one of the most watched in recent history, with some 39 million viewers. Most of those were outside the key 18-49 demographic however, with only 18 million falling in the capitalist human-worth bulls-eye. Bieber’s competing stream might make sense, considering those numbers, since the majority of his fans are cultural zygotes/creepy divorced moms.

Watch Bieber’s thing, whatever it is, on his webite, I guess? The tweet didn’t say, and I’m not about to do any more research on this stupid post.

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