January 9, 2013

Two men who had been sentenced to five years in prison in Cameroon for the crime of “looking gay” have been acquitted, according to multiple news reports today on every single website in the world. The reason for the ubiquity of the story? Concern for human rights, of course. Just kidding, it’s because there’s a funny hook to the story! You see Jonas Kimie and Franky Ndome were arrested for, among other things, ordering “gay drinks” at a night club. Hoho, better not order a Cosmo next time you go out, right gang! What a delightful lark. What was the drink? Bailey’s Irish Cream. Think of the jokes!

Well, you don’t really need to think of them, because you’ll see plenty of them on your social media today. Here’s a joke:

“The acquittal of two Cameroonian men jailed for looking gay because they wore women’s clothes exposes the systematic discrimination against perceived homosexuals in the country,” Amnesty International said in a statement.

The conviction was based on stereotypes because authorities never saw them engage in homosexual acts, according to their lawyer. CNN

Good news for them they hadn’t, because, haha, then they might spend five years in jail like their countryman here who told a friend over a text that he loved him. Here’s another joke: homosexuality is outlawed in almost 40 countries in Africa. In some, like Sudan and Nigeria, it is punishable by death. Uganda has an infamous “kill the gays” bill currently working its way through Parliament. Still though, Bailey’s Irish Cream… Kind of hard to pass up the humor potential there, but why don’t you just go ahead and do that now anyway and save yourself the trouble of looking like an asshole. Gawker, of all places, didn’t even say anything shitty about the story in their post — you know how rare that is? If they can show a little restraint on a cliche joke I think you can do the same.

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