Jon Hamm is the luckiest bastard in the world. Not just because of all the fame, riches, talent, good looks, and all-around-good-guy affect he’s got going on over there, that’s all well established. It’s his choice of roles that makes him so dastardly brilliant.
Typically when we read very important and serious-minded think pieces about Mad Men and the expectations of beauty inherent in Hollywood, it revolves around one of two things—well, three, if you count each breast as a separate entity—and that’s Christina Hendrick’s “curves.” Depending on who you talk to, it’s either an accurate representation of “real women” during the time of the show, a condescending portrayal of sexism, or just another example of unattainable ideals for women today. Those may or may not all be good points, but something that regularly gets overlooked is just how “real” Jon Hamm’s body is.
Take a look at these recent pictures of Hamm and co-star Jessica Pare on location for Mad Men in Hawaii (via The Superficial). Does that look like the body you’d expect from one of the most lusted after men in the world? No, it looks like someone’s dad, actually. Someone’s creepy, burnt-steak and potatoes eating dad.
Pare, of course, is expected to stay trim and in shape, because this is still television after all and we’re only allowed so many “real women” per capita to make us feel charitable about our progressive views on body norms or whatever the argument is, but Hamm looks like a slob here. What’s his work out routine, not having a third plate of pot roast?
That’s where his genius comes in. How many other leading men in the world do you know that can get away with a body like that and justify it in the name of veracity? Unlike literally every other actor out there (besides the “funny fat” ones), we will never read an article about Hamm’s kale diarrhea cleanse diet or his specialized cardio astronaut space karate work out routine in Men’s Health, because it would seem unbelievable to viewers that Don Draper would have a six pack because men simply didn’t exercise like they do now back then. In that regard Hamm as been literally grandfathered into his “real body.”
And yet, unlike women who look to Hendricks and find her “realness” a source of inspiration, I can’t help but gaze upon the doughy visage of the sexiest man alive, and think he’s found yet another way to pull one over on us again. Well played, Hamm, you lazy, diabolical bastard. Well played indeed.