Cultural Commentator

How to Not Die From Taking Molly

Cultural Commentator

How to Not Die From Taking Molly


UPDATE: Two young women are suspected to have died after overdosing at the HARD music Festival in Pomona this weekend. Here’s what we said a while back about how to not do that.

Following a series of drug-related deaths at electronic music concerts in New York and Boston this past week, the mainstream media concern-trolling eye has swivelled its morbid gaze once again back to molly, the drug of the moment. Unsurprisingly, the local news wants parents to be very scared about this “new” drug. ARE YOUR KIDS GOING TO DIE AT A RAVE? PROBABLY! FIND OUT WHY AT 10. Idiotic, erroneous explanations of what molly is, like this one that has been shared over 200,000 times on Facebook, aren’t helping matters either.

Molly has been a common drug lately & everyone is trying it. Pop 1 and your sweating? Let me explain why your sweating: Molly is a drug made up of cocaine, crack, ecstasy, meth & bath salt. It slows your heart rate 10x the normal limit & reeks havoc on your immune system with just one pill. Take two & it damages your brain without you even being able realize it. It becomes an addiction & soon a cry for help. By the fifth one you take, it starts killing your organs & preventing them from functioning as normal. It increases your chance of stroke & heart attack and can cause your lungs to stop functioning all together! It is a very powerful & VERY DANGEROUS drug! More harmful than crack itself. Many rappers are promoting it to involve young people in the manufacturing, selling, and usage of the drug. Spread the word to save lives of young people across the country! Show them the truth so they can make an informed & smart decision if they’re ever offered it

Oh word? Cocaine, crack, ecstasy, meth and bath salt together in one drug? Sounds legit. Also, is that supposed to make kids want to take it more or less?

The point is, the only people who know less about what molly actually is than the kids who are taking it are the parents who are freaking out about it.

A newly released video featuring a number of star DJs like Kaskade, A-Trak,, Steve Aoki, Z-Trip, and Tommie Sunshine attempts to warn kids about the dangers of MDMA. Although it was filmed a few years ago, it recently surfaced because of the new focus on the drug in the media. (via Vanyaland).

It sounds a little corny, but it’s actually not bad advice. I appreciate how they don’t come out and say “Don’t do drugs,” firmly, but take a more pragmatic approach.

I happen to be at the point in my life where I’m most likely not going to do drugs anymore, but I certainly had my time in trenches. I know most of you idiot kids aren’t going to listen to old farts who tell you to dance sober, no matter how famous they are, but that doesn’t mean you have to be completely clueless. Here are a few pieces of advice that you should keep in mind.

1) Don’t take drugs from someone you don’t know. Just don’t fucking do it. Anyone that doesn’t know you who wants to get you high has an ulterior motive, or doesn’t care about you.

2) Ask about the drugs you’re about to take from the person you got them from. What’s the high like? Have they taken these ones before? How long will it last? Is one good enough?

3) Don’t ever take more than one pill at a time. In fact, take half at first to see what it’s going to do to you. Not all drugs are created equally, and different people react to them in different ways.

4) Getting fucked up is great, but turning into a zombie is for losers. No one wants to play Weekend At Bernie‘s with their friends at a dance club. Pull your shit together, because while it may seem like it at the time, blasting off into another dimension is no fun for anyone involved. Everyone in their thirties remembers their friend who was the hardest partier from back in the day, and that’s all we do, remember them, because we don’t hang out with that person anymore.

5) That said, don’t be embarrassed if you are fucked up beyond your comfort level. If you feel like you’re going to pass out or overheat, tell someone. It’s a lot better to look like a n00b than it is to be dead and cool. On the flip side, keep an eye on your friends. If you’re close enough to take drugs and dance with someone all night, you’re close enough to give half a shit whether or not they’ll be a corpse tomorrow. The drug buddy system is key.

6) Drink water. How many times do people have to tell you this? And, as they say in the video, put the Red Bull down. You’re already on an intense stimulant, do you really need to add caffeine into the mix? Enjoy the drug you’re on, no need to take all of the drugs at once.

7) Heroin and oxy are for piece of shit losers. Don’t try either of them, not even once.

8) Go home. That was a great party, no doubt, but nothing good ever happens once the sun is on its way up. Being excited about how late you get to stay up is for tweens at sleepovers.

9) Get a haircut.

10) Get a job.

11) Woops, sorry, got a little carried away there at the end, but the rest of the stuff is 100% true. Everyone knows you want to get fucked up and dance and have fun, and you should, that’s what being young is for, but you people are ruining the scene for the rest of us with your inability to follow the most basic of precautionary measures.