“What Would I Say?,” a Facebook app created by seven Princeton grads has taken over my Facebook newsfeed. Here’s how it works: the app sucks up your past posts and then spits out fragments of them bundled together. For example: “MY CAT with good a chain of young girl trying to decipher We ingest a bachelor party” or “tried 2 aks Urs Fischer but were 2 Chainz is a giant spider in my closet. July ’10.” See what I mean! I’m funny and I have really funny references and if you put them together without context, I’m hilarious! Post this on your wall and voila: a readymade dada-ist poem for your friends’ consumption.
After porn, irreverence and narcissism are reasons #2 and #3 why the Internet exists. “What Would I Say?” is the perfect synthesis of the two, like a selfie version of “What Does the Fox Say?” Or like Samuel Beckett got in a time machine to the future, immediately got Facebook, and ripped a couple wacky posts out. Yeah, so that’s why this shit blew up: people love themselves, and people love non-sequiturs. Actually, it makes a few of my friends more bearable than they really are. It’s going to die down in a day or two, and be completely forgotten forever and ever, so enjoy your few moments of absurdist cat rock does a emo hat BALLOON SEGWAY, today.