A new, extended 50 Shades Darker trailer premiered during last night’s season premiere of The Bachelor (appropriate) and sufficient to say this movie looks terrible.
Now I never read the books (I swear), but I think this two-minute clip gives the entire thin, predictable plot. Christian Grey wins Anastasia Steele back with little effort (she agrees to go for dinner with him because she’s “hungry,” but I don’t think she’s hungry for food, if you know what I mean). Then, everyone in Anastasia’s life tries to get her to dump him because he’s a psychopathic fuckboi. Then, Christian’s ex (shocker! there have been others) shows up to kill Anastasia. I’m going to go ahead and guess she doesn’t succeed, because the studio has several more of these awful films to cash in on.
But I guess the plot is just a vehicle for the sex scenes, which look just as bad. Poor Dakota Johnson has to throw her head back with her eyes closed and her mouth open, like, every ten minutes in this movie. And can films please stop promoting shower sex like it’s an achievable feat?
On the bright side, the song, “I Don’t Want to Live Forever” by Zayn ft. Taylor Swift, isn’t half bad (I’m serious).