Did you guess it yet? Lars Von Trier’s production company released this teaser poster for Nymphomaniac, his upcoming film about the sexual life of a self-avowed nymphomaniac, which lays out the movie’s ethos as plainly as possible with its “Forget About Love” tagline and a minimally-designed parentheses evoking just one possible image. Yes, there will be fucking in this movie, a boon for all the Shia LaBeouf fans out there who didn’t get enough beef in that Sigur Ros video; yes, it will probably be rendered as dark and drearily as Von Trier’s movies tend to be. Recall the sex in Melancholia, in which Kirsten Dunst artlessly thrusts herself upon a hapless suitor for 20 seconds; recall the sex in Antichrist, in which gasping passion is undercut by Willem Dafoe ejaculating blood. The parentheses doesn’t just function as a big vagina, either. Since the movie is about a woman describing her life the parentheses act as a beginning and end of her story, with all the sexual dalliance contained in between.
That might be lost on some people, though. Somewhere, a pre-pubescent teenage boy will illegally stream Nymphomaniac in search of titillation; instead, he’ll be irrevocably scarred by whatever Von Trier comes up with. Chaos reigns, says the anthropomorphic genitalia as it vomits blood while Charlotte Gainsbourg gives a terse voiceover about something or other. Young boners, ruined forever. The first trailer will possibly be released on May 16; part one of Von Trier’s planned two-part release will debut at one of the fancier non-Cannes film festivals later this year.