January 30, 2013

It’s been a big year for Gucci Mane, who never quite blew up into the mainstream star that his constant churn of high-level mixtapes and guest appearances seemed to portend (though an 11-year old once did shout “I DON’T WEAR JEANS LIKE THE WHITE BOYS / BUT I LIKE TO GET WASTED LIKE THE WHITE BOYS” at me from his bike, so I guess that counts for some kind of crossover appeal). He’ll appear as some kind of drug lord in Harmony Korine’s Spring Breakers, in what is only the fourth weirdest casting of that movie. I imagine he’s also got a mixtape dropping at some point in the next 180 days, because why wouldn’t he?

But the career diversification doesn’t end there:  According to photos he posted on his Twitter account, Gucci is also helping the kids at Crawford Long Middle School learn about their futures. “#career-day,” he Tweeted along with this photo of him standing in front of a classroom dispensing actual advice to actual children — this, from a man who has an ice cream cone tattooed on his face. Which doesn’t mean he’s incapable of saying valuable things to America’s youngs — like, for example, how to avoid going down a path that ends up with an ice cream cone tattooed on your face — but it’s just eminently goofy to imagine him answering questions that begin with “Mr. Mane” or “Mr. Gucci” like some kind of adult. I mean, really. As one Twitter denizen commented, “LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOJHBVHGCHJVHBHF.” That’s about right! I desperately hope to find out all the details soon enough.

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