Fashion

These Grammy Outfits Weren’t Half Bad

Fashion

These Grammy Outfits Weren’t Half Bad

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Writing about last night’s Grammy outfits is a total bore because they were, by and large, pretty good.

Madonna blew my mind last night. She was totally channeling her former self, but not in a pathetic clinging to her youth sort of way. Her custom Givenchy cabaret getup was theatrical and hot as hell. And her boobs are defying both time and space.

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I’ve never been one for dresses with multi personality disorder (they’re the clothing version of the mullet), which is why this… thing (see, I wanted to say gown, but is it a gown? It doesn’t seem to know) by Ellie Saab on Taylor Swift fundamentally bothers me. The color is killer – if the confused dress were either long and full or short and sexy I’d totally dig it.

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I was not a fan of Rihanna’s oversized loofa, which came courtesy of Giambattista Valli Haute Couture. I’m all for things that are large and pink (is there a vagina joke here? Probably), it’s the chest region that’s bugging me. Perhaps if the bandeau portion were three inches longer and 20% less constricting… Anyway, Sam Smith was the unlucky fellow tasked with sitting next to her – he said it was like being seated next to jellyfish.

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Beyoncé probably thought she was going to get major sex appeal points in plunging, custom Proenza Schouler, but the breasts of Kim Kardashian (Jean Paul Gaultier Haute Couture) and Nicki Minaj (Tom Ford) stole the show. Sorry B.

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No. Just… please don’t do this. I beg of you.

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Hey Dumb and Dumber, we found a female lead for your inevitable next film – Charli XCX in Moschino.

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Gwen Stefani has never looked better in body, face and attire. I’m partial to jumpsuits, and this Atelier Versace number is particularly flattering and glamorous.

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Miley took the “high” road (stoner joke) in this demure Alexandre Vauthier gown. Adore the cutouts and simplistic accessorizing. Let’s see how she does with the lack of attention.

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But my top kudos goes to Maddie Ziegler and Sia, who look chic and flawless in coordinated menswear. Just goes to show a popstar needn’t show her face to dominate the Grammys (appearance and performance wise, we all know the actual awards mean nothing).

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