Advice

Here’s Some Good Advice From Porn Star Turned Author Sasha Grey

Advice

Here’s Some Good Advice From Porn Star Turned Author Sasha Grey

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Since exiting the porn industry in 2011, Sasha Grey has dabbled in movies, television, music, and photography. Now, the newly minted author—her debut novel, The Juliette Society, was released last month—can add advice columnist to her already robust resume.

Dear Sasha,  I’ve been with my girlfriend for three years. We’re so close that whenever I see her naked, it feels like I’m looking at my sister. What does this mean and what should I do about it?
Try harder! Start dressing up for fun, verbalize your desires, and don’t just keep them to yourself. Go shopping for sexy outfits so she can dress up for you. Don’t leave that up to her, or she will feel that she doesn’t excite you anymore. Outside of the bedroom when you two go out, even if it’s just a simple dinner and a movie, you should both dress up, so when you come home, you’re even more excited to destroy each other.

Dear Sasha, I know you just wrote a book. I would also like to write a book, but I keep getting distracted by pretty much everything. Does this mean I’m not a writer? How do I become one?
Become by doing. A lot of great writers started with simple exercises, like writing immediately when you wake up in the morning. My mentor Anthony D’Juan writes everyday. It doesn’t matter how shitty his day was, how much time he spent socializing, how little sleep he got—he always finds time to write.

Dear Sasha, Lately, I’ve developed an affinity for a type of porn that some people might consider “violent.” Should I be concerned? Where does one draw the line?
The Marquis de Sade wanted to get rid of the way we categorize sexuality, to stop labeling our sexual preferences as good or bad. I almost agree with that. I think sex between consenting adults is either consensual, or it isn’t. So if someone didn’t consent to sex, or in the context of your question, being a submissive partner, or vice versa, then that’s where I draw the line. In The Juliette Society, my character Catherine is just discovering new aspects of her sexuality, of other people’s sexuality, and she’s intimidated by it, but she tries to be as self-aware as possible

Dear Sasha, I have like ten million frequent flyer miles. Which city should I visit and which bar should I hit up when I get there?
Paris! Go to Café de Flore, drink an overpriced cappuccino, have a great tarte Tatin, and at least you’ll feel more creative sitting in the same digs where Hemingway frequented. But in all seriousness, at least they still have classy servers.

Dear Sasha, What’s the best way to tell my girl her feet smell?
Bah! Just get it over with already and tell her!

Dear Sasha, Besides your own, what is one book that I simply have to read and why?
Wetlands! It’s a no-holds-barred one week journey of a young woman who has no shame in having a hysterectomy at 18, just as she has no qualms about making an avocado pit her sex toy and child. The novel’s protagonist, Helen (or antagonist, if you’re a complete prude) will either turn you off or draw you in with the opening sentence alone. Helen digs into the disgusting surface thoughts we all have, but wonder why we do, and instead of hiding them she shares them with the world.

Dear Sasha, Is there ever a right time to fake an orgasm?
If you even have to ask this, I’d seriously question how satisfied you are.

Dear Sasha, When someone asks me what my favorite movie is, what should I tell them to sound cool?
John Carpenter’s The Thing, and you must preface it with his name.

Dear Sasha, I’m on a hunt for the best sandwich in America. Where do I find it?
Cosmi’s in Philly, or Beach Hut Deli in Sacramento.

Dear Sasha, What is the secret to eternal life?
Ask the jellyfish!