News

Fuck Apple and Its Shitty New ‘Smartwatch’

News

Fuck Apple and Its Shitty New ‘Smartwatch’

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Oh great another must-have product from Apple, everyone’s favorite brand, and with a market cap of $730 billion, the largest company on the planet. Consider the Department of Defense, a.k.a the United States Military, the largest army in history, has an annual budget of about $600 billion. Apple should sell itself and fund its own private Pentagon for a year, like the old Dutch East India Company.

People who love Apple annoy. If Apple were your friend, he’d be stealing your ideas, taking your money and suing you. Because that’s what corporations do. Apple is the one of the most litigious companies in the world, especially when it comes to intellectual property laws. Apple basically claims it thought of everything first–they even went to court against Carl Sagan from Cosmos! Apple pays its foreign laborers shit. Its products are overpriced. Yet it cannot figure out how to make a working fucking battery. Apple is not your friend.

They have now announced a stupid watch:

The Apple Watch—the company’s most anticipated product in years—allows users to receive calls, communicate by tapping on the interface, and features a variety of apps promoting and measuring the wearer’s health. CEO Tim Cook said the Watch will have an 18 hour battery life.

Fuck Apple. Anyone who is excited about this should go buy a US Steel t-shirt, or a Citigroup hat.