People

Frequently Accurate Twitter Bot Replaces ‘God’ with ‘Your Dick,’ Hilarity Ensues

People

Frequently Accurate Twitter Bot Replaces ‘God’ with ‘Your Dick,’ Hilarity Ensues

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Have you ever checked out televangelist Joel Osteen’s twitter? Even if you’ve never heard of the guy, you can probably guess it deals mainly in extreme statements about God, his mercy, his willingness and ability to fight our battles (would be great if that were so) etc. etc. Osteen has 4.46 million followers.

But there’s another, lesser known preacher I tend to be partial to. His name is Joel Dongsteen and he worships his dick. He encourages you to worship your dick as well. Your dick has all the answers. Your dick will set you free, and so forth.

Unfortunately, Dongsteen is not a living man but a clever internet bot (presumably created or at least “inspired” by comedian and writer Joe Mande), which simply takes Osteen’s tweets and replaces the word “God” with “Your Dick.” Even as a woman, I can see the deeper truth in many of these statements. Maybe your dick does have all the answers.

Really they’re all gems, but here are some standouts.

And my personal favorite: