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Facebook Unveils Its Latest Attempt to Humiliate You

News

Facebook Unveils Its Latest Attempt to Humiliate You

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Read receipts, the feature that alerts you when someone has read your chat message or text, have been the bane of the perpetually insecure since Facebook rolled them out on their messenger service. Instead of wondering whether or not the person you’ve texted “sup?” to might just be busy and hasn’t had a chance to see your message waiting for them yet, the read receipt provided empirical proof of what you always secretly expected anyway, that no one likes you and they’re putting off talking to you for as long as possible. Get ready for more of that with Facebook’s latest update, read receipts for event invites!

Now, when you put together a page for your upcoming DJ set, or baby’s birthday party, or pop-up food truck horse shit extravaganza, and thoughtlessly blast out an invite to everyone in your network, no matter where they are located geographically, Facebook will tell you if each individual user has seen the invite and simply decided not to respond to it because fuck you is why.

Even better? There’s no getting around it, as the Daily Dot explains:

In both Groups and Messenger, there is no option provided by Facebook for disabling the read receipts. Of course, there are unofficial workarounds that will do the trick for you if you feel strongly enough about protecting your right to not respond immediately to everything.

Just like Facebook’s other iterations of the read receipts, there is no option to opt out of the confirmations in Events. (Though give it a week and it’s likely someone will figure out a solution.)

There could be an upside here, however. Perhaps seeing all those blatant non-replies to events will convince the perpetual promoters in your network to stop asking you to come to their residency that you have never once attended. Sometimes people can’t take a hint without having it spelled out for them. I’m talking to you, Jason.