Everything sucks. Donald Trump sucks, Zika sucks, Suicide Squad apparently sucks. Every day there are suckier and suckier things flooding our various newsfeeds and sometimes it just feels as though we’re drowning in a sea of suckiness. So when the Internet offers us a life raft, however brief and silly, we ought to take it.
Enter this kind young gentleman and his pet deer. Kelvin Peña, a 17-year-old resident of Pennsylvania, was chilling in his backyard last week when a deer strolled on through. He told BuzzFeed that they had a “connection.” The deer followed Kelvin around for a little while, Kelvin fed the deer some club crackers and the rest is Internet history. Kelvin named his new pal “Money” because “Money makes me happy and he did too.”
Now Kelvin and Money are besties. Money even brought over his family to meet his new bestie. Kelvin served strawberries. It was a lovely affair.
Want everyone to meet my new pet pic.twitter.com/aCYe2TaM0X
— Kelvin (@COLDGAMEKELV) July 28, 2016
Money’s baby mama pull up game too strong pic.twitter.com/It70ebFiFX
— Kelvin (@COLDGAMEKELV) August 2, 2016
But Kelvin is more than just a friend of furry creatures, he is also an enterprising young man; he has already monetized his magical friendship by selling T-shirts featuring a crude drawing of Money and the catchphrase “EVERYBODY EATS.” His clothing line is called “Deer Squad.”
— Kelvin (@COLDGAMEKELV) August 3, 2016
The proceeds will go to purchasing himself and his new fam “FIRE HEALTHY FOOD.” Bless.