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Donald Trump Doubles Down on All His Brutal, Terrifying Promises With Brutal Terrifying Ad

News

Donald Trump Doubles Down on All His Brutal, Terrifying Promises With Brutal Terrifying Ad

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Donald Trump rang in the New Year with a new ad, which will undoubtedly be the most terrifying 30 seconds of your 2016 thus far.

It begins with the voice of the presidential hopeful saying, “I’m Donald Trump and I approve this message” – a foreboding sentence if there ever was one. Then comes a dark and grainy image of Hillary Clinton and President Obama, which unsubtly screams, “Hey! Check out these evil Democrats! Boooooo!” accompanied by the voice of a stern, white guy (we don’t see him, but come on, we know he’s white) saying, “The politicians can pretend it’s something else, but Donald Trump calls it ‘Radical Islamic Terrorism.'” We can assume by “the politicians” he means “Clinton and Obama” and by “it’s” he means “all of America’s problems.”

Then the evil voiceover reiterates Trump’s call for a temporary ban on all Muslims entering the United States until we can “figure out what’s going on.”

Then the evil voiceover promises that Trump will “quickly cut the head off ISIS,” as if ISIS was a single dude and Donald Trump was the creepy executioner sent to kill Buckbeak in Harry Potter (sorry, I rewatched all the Harry Potter movies over the holidays). Oh wait, he’s also going to “take their oil.”

Then voiceover guy reminds us about Trump’s proposed wall along our southern border. You know, the one that’s going to keep all the “bad” Mexicans out (I’m seeing a recurring theme here). Oh and Mexico is going to pay for the wall, natch.

The whole thing feels like an SNL sketch or a clip from Funny or Die, but after Trump is shown spewing his tagline, we are forced to remind ourselves that this is very much a real advertisement and that is a scary, scary thing. But do you know what’s even scarier? The YouTube comments section.