Culture

Do Devout Christians Have Hotter Sex Than Godless Sinners?

Culture

Do Devout Christians Have Hotter Sex Than Godless Sinners?

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No. The answer to that question is no, which will be obvious, because of the way the headline was phrased, and also based on intuition, conjecture, anecdotal evidence, and everything short of actual hard science, because that sort of thing is impossible to accurately study short of clipping a crucifix-shaped instrument to a series of devouy clitorii and waiting for the magic to happen. But that’s the conceit behind a presentation by the Marriage & Religion Research Institute head Pat Fagan’s latest efforts to put the sexy back in the sacrament. Sexcrament. That sounds like something that happens after you do butt stuff, which is, somehow still less of a turnoff than thinking about intercourse within the bounds of committed love sanctioned under God’s law.

As the Washington Post‘s Lydia DePillis highlights, following a trip to a Family Research Council event to see Fagan’s presentation—seriously go look at the slideshow he brought along (via Slate)—the really unfortunately named  Christian PhD, says that contrary to popular belief, doing it for Christ is hot.

At least Fagan knows how to sell his movement, though. When a concerned young man asked how to talk to people afflicted by the porn epidemic, the grandfatherly lecturer advised him to focus on the benefits in the bedroom — scientifically supported or not.

“You tell them, ‘we know how to have sex much better than you guys,’” he said. “‘We’ve got it more orgasmic, more enjoyable, more frequent!’”

Ultimately, Fagan’s reasoning comes down to, as it so often does with any religion-based argument, that ignorance is bliss. “Those who are monogamous have the best sex they’ll ever know, because they don’t know anything else.”

Coincidentally, that’s exactly how religion has always worked: it’s for people who’ve never known any better, and had no idea there was another option.