September 10, 2012

In case you missed X Factor this weekend (on account of not being the type of person who watches X Factor over the weekend), one contestant, named…I dunno, Weird Old Dude, we’ll call him, proved that while he may not have the singing chops to ‘make it’ in ‘the biz’, he might want to consider his hand at stand up. (Warming Glow via The Daily What)

“I worked way too frigging hard for this,” he said during his critique, in what has to be the most furious sentence ever spoken by someone with a Canadian accent.

“A lot of people work really hard for their dreams but it’s not meant for everybody,” said Lovato, who up until ten seconds ago I thought was Selena Gomez, which kind of ruins the joke I had planned here.

“Yeah, that’s why you use Auto-tune and I don’t,” he said.

OH SHIT. *crowd groans* *drunk cowboy punches out piano player in old-timey bar fight*

Simon Cowell was surprisingly silent in response. Dude kind of has a point, he seemed to be thinking. Brit Brit, for her part, wasn’t impressed either. “I want to know who let you on stage,” she said. “I feel uncomfortable with you even staring at me.” In her defense she could have been talking to an invisible hamburger with legs dancing just behind the guy.

“See you later,” chimes in L.A. Reid.

“Yeah, see you later because I’m a better writer,” dude replied.

U SEEM MAD, the world thought. And they were right. Mad, but kind of fucking awesome.

Follow Luke O’Neil on Twitter.

Comments >