Many creative types harbor ambitions of writing a screenplay, mostly because it seems like easier than writing a book. Unfortunately, it’s not as easy as downloading a copy of Celtx and purchasing Screenwriting for Dummies. But if you’re really dedicated and have a few thousand dollars to spare, you can get a lesson from none less than David Lynch, the master behind art school classics like Twin Peaks and Blue Velvet. As part of an auction to benefit his David Lynch Foundation, Lynch is offering to read someone’s screenplay and then spend 45 minutes going over it in person, or, failing that, over Skype. Skyping with David Lynch! Almost as fun as lunching with David Lynch. It might sound like a great idea, but really, Lynch could end up just scribbling things like “more dream sequences” and “more blood-covered alien babies” into the margins. For that type of money—currently, bidding stands at $8,000—you may as well invest in some of the other prizes such as a private guitar lesson with Steve Vai, a man who only communicates by shredding. You can do yoga with Russell Simmons, or buy the signed script to the series finale of Seinfeld. You can even pay to meet Russell Brand on the set of Brand X so you can say, “Hey, stop making Brand X.” There are so many possibilities.