Cold War 2: Russia Declares NATO ‘Main External Threat’


Cold War 2: Russia Declares NATO ‘Main External Threat’


Burrr…Burrr…Burrr…Game on. Anyone doubting the Neo Cold War is upon us is not, or shall I say nyet, paying attention. Russia’s new military doctrine makes clear who the enemy is:

President Vladimir Putin on Friday signed a revised version of Russia’s military doctrine that names “NATO’s military buildup” and expansion in Eastern Europe as the main external threats to the country’s security, according to a Kremlin statement. Russia’s Security Council said after a meeting last week that the new military doctrine was necessary due to “the emergence of new threats for Russia, which became evident in the situation in Ukraine and around it and the events in Northern Africa, Syria, Iraq and Afghanistan.”

Man, I thought this all ended in ’89 when the Berlin Wall fell. But 25 years later it’s apocalypse now redux. Maybe some Yugo Diplomacy will save us?

Refresher: a New World Order emerged post-WW2, when America was left with two-thirds of the world’s wealth, making us the richest empire ever. NATO stands for the North Atlantic Treaty Organization. America disproportionately funds NATO. The 28-state military pact was established in 1949 as a bulwark against the Red Menace known as…Communism. Nukes made this all complicated (that whole mutually assured destruction thing was a bit much) but pure Communism was a hollow ideology that failed everywhere. Social-democracy and socialist-capatilsim have had more success.

These days, it’s less a fight against Godless Commies (the WASP-y U.S. gov and CIA actually called them that) and more about absolutely nothing. The U.S. and the West have differing policies on various conflicts and pieces on land. The new Cold War is as dumb as the last Cold War.

Random highlights below…

Iran is the new Cuba

There are a million reasons why we should end our beef with Iran. We share the same enemies (mainly ISIS), are both moderately free Republics, though Iran is a bit less free, and it’s a waste of money and time for us to have problems. Just like Cuba was for the last 60 years. Our main dispute is over nukes, which Iran wants to possess, but Israel considers that a red line a.k.a a declaration of war. And the entire West basically has to fall in line behind the U.S, and Israel because, well, America has all the guns and power and Israel is our satellite state. Iran having a bomb really isn’t a big deal: North Korean, Pakistan and, ironically, Israel all have bombs outside the United Nation’s international non-proliferation treaty.

Syria-Iraq is the new Central America, Southeast Asia

Proxy wars, failed invasions, illegal CIA tactics–it’s all so Iran-Conta/El Salvador/Nicaragua/Nam. The West acts like the Mid East wars are existential threats, but most people in the ME think they are internal conflicts that we should stay out of.

North Korea is the new old North Korea

For mentorship, Kim Jong-un looks not his papa, Kim Jon-il, but to his grand papi, Kim Il-sun, the man who started the Korean War in the 1950s. Lil Kim’s latest move, the Great Sony Hack of 2014, is the funniest cyber-crime ever.



He’s such a cherubic cutie, a.k.a the perfect enemy.


Red Dawn is Being Re-Made with Brad Pitt and George Clooney

JK. Although I wouldn’t doubt it…

Good Excuse to Listen to Gucci Mane’s The Cold War mixtapes