Yo, Chris Pratt. I’m sick and fucking tired of writing blog posts about you bro, so stop doing shit like losing a bunch of weight and becoming a total babe, rapping Eminem flawlessly, being tapped to host the SNL premiere, and having yearbook pictures. Enough is enough. I’m calling it: the year of Chris Pratt is over. Threw it in the dumpster next to the year of J-Law and the year of Ricky Martin. You’re done dude. Not even that new Jurassic Park movie can save you. Your days as a shareable content generating machine are through. Now you’re just another actor that conquered Hollywood or whatever, and there’s literally nothing you can do to change my mind except post a photo of your awesome first headshot which you literally just did so ignore everything I just wrote I love you Chris Pratt.
— chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) September 12, 2014