Culture

Chicago’s Top Drag Queens Dish on their Wildest Nights

Culture

Chicago’s Top Drag Queens Dish on their Wildest Nights

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When a large portion of your life is spent revving up wasted crowds in bars, you’re bound to have a catalog of weird, raunchy memories. We reached out to Chicago’s top drag queens and asked them to give us the dirt on their wildest nights on the scene. From ball-popping performances to nights spent huffing poppers off bar rags, these are their stories:

 

Shea Couleé

“My craziest memory in drag was the time my balls popped out during my performance of Mya’s, ‘My Love is like… Wo.’ I was at a monthly Scarlet show called, ‘Trannika’s Most Wanted,’ wearing a really small French-cut body suit. While I was dancing, the two made an unwarranted guest appearance. Everyone noticed and there were even a few Vines circulating with my exposed nuts. Now, I wear the memory like a badge of honor.”

Kahmora Hall

“The weirdest thing that’s happened to me in drag was at a Neverland party a couple years ago. A tranny chaser with a foot fetish wouldn’t leave me alone the entire night. He asked if he could suck my toes, even with all my tights and pantyhose on and he did. FYI, I had not washed those in a while.”

Trannika Rex

“The day after Illinois’ gay marriage bill didn’t pass it was all Boystown was talking about. We had a particularly trashy, loud bachelorette party come to the drag show at Berlin that night—a real bunch of jackasses. Audience members started screaming at them to go home and they started yelling back. Someone came on stage to explain the bill and why they were particularly offensive on that of all days. The yelling only got louder. It was the only time I’ve felt out of control at a show, but the girls left quickly after the screaming match. To those girls, I’m sorry but also fuck you.”

Valentine Addams

“One night, this guy kept asking me if I wanted a drink, so I agreed—duh. He said he was Lady Bunny’s manager, and how he knew I’d become ‘really famous’ one day. He invited me back to his room at the W Hotel, so he could ‘talk to me about how beautiful I am.’ When I asked to see his business cards, he said he forgot them in his hotel room. He eventually switched his story from ‘wanting to make me famous’ to ‘wanting to give me ‘lots of money just to go talk.’ I quickly went to change and left the bar without him seeing me and per usual, ended the night with my girls and some Taco Bell.”

 Kim Chi

“All of my friends know I physically can’t consume alcohol. One night, I was lip-synching in a giant wedding dress to a remix of Shania Twain’s, ‘You’re Still the One,’ feeling my bridal fantasy. I got down from the stage mid-song and worked my way to the bar, where the bartender handed me a generous shot of whiskey. Caught in the moment, I took the shot and went backstage with trembling legs. In the middle of my next number, I fell twice, my wig came off and I made out with an audience member, smearing lipstick all over my face. After that train wreck, my drunk ass thought it’d be fun to cover my entire face in lipstick for the curtain call—I was mortified the next day.”

Lucy Stoole

“One of my wildest nights was when I performed at Jackhammer last year. I did two numbers in-between the punk bands onstage that night and ended up assisting patrons with putting on cock rings. We all huffed poppers off a bar rag until 3 am.”

Sissy Spastik

“At the end of my gig one night, I was flirting with this gorgeous model. We gave each other ‘the eye,’ and I was immediately hooked by his smile. He was tall, European and horny—what’s not to love? We went home and I made him model naked for me. The next day, I showed all my friends the photos and they were drooling the house down.”

Sara Andrews

“When I was 17 years old and living in the backwoods of Tennessee, I’d make a weekly trip to the ‘big city’ of Nashville for amateur drag night. One night, I was looking like a cheap hooker and my car broke down on the side of the interstate—mind you, cellphones weren’t around at this point. An 18-wheeler eventually pulled up beside me and the driver offered me a ride, thinking I was a stripper. He dropped me off at the nearest payphone, but blasted over the CB radio that ‘a stripper was up for grabs.’ Trucks all started showing up to catch a glimpse, but my mom came just in time.”