“Before designing the iPhone 5, we studied how customers use their iPhones, and we discovered something pretty interesting,” this video announcement for the eagerly anticipated gadget begins.
“People only use iPhones to take pictures of their food.”
“They’re sad and alone, so they use pictures of food to create the illusion of a fulfilling life.”
Too soon, bro. Too soon.
The new iPhone 5 comes with all sorts of streamlining technology that will improve your photo-taking skills. Not included? People who love you.
Watch the video, then check out some pictures I took while out at bars and restaurants recently!
Here’s an awful beer list from a basic ass bar in Boston. It’s from the year 2012, I should probably point out, because otherwise no one would believe me. I posted this because belittling a shitty beer selection lets me and my beer snob friends feel like we’re better than your average person.
Here are two drinks I had at Anvil Bar and Refuge in Houston. Drink on the left was not fucking around; it’s called The Brave for a reason. It’s made with mezcal, sotol, Averna, Curacao, and Angostura biters. I post this because I want you to know that I am knowledgeable about spirits and cocktails.
Here’s some dessert I had while traveling through the agave-growing parts of Oaxaca, Mexico. It was made by one of Oaxaca’s most famous chefs. I post this because I want you to know that I am a man of the world who goes places and does things.
Follow Luke O’Neil on Twitter.