News

Buff Republican Congressman Aaron Schock Resigns After Yet Another Scandal

News

Buff Republican Congressman Aaron Schock Resigns After Yet Another Scandal

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Congressman Aaron Schock has resigned today, according to reports, after the latest in a long series of scandals that have plagued the Illinois Republican. Although that’s probably not the best way to say it, as it’s actually been Schock’s profligate spending that has been plaguing taxpayers. Yesterday Politico reported that Schock had billed the government and his campaign for mileage usage on his car almost 100,000 miles beyond what it actually had driven. If you can think of a better metaphor for Republican governance than a car that didn’t travel the miles the smiling suit behind the wheel said it had all while asking you for gas money then I’d love to hear it.

While that doesn’t seem like such a huge deal, as far as scandals go, it was merely the coup de grâce for Schock, whose name is inspiring all sorts of amazing Twitter jokes as we speak I’m sure. Schock’s allegiance to the tenets of financial propriety was first questioned a few months back when it was reported by the Washington Post that he had had his office decorated in the style of Downton Abby to the tune of some $40,000, which… wait, I just thought of a better metaphor for Republican governance.

After that questions began to arise about his expenditures on travel via private planes, and other business dealings with political contributors, brought to light in part by his own obsessive documentation of his exploits on Instagram, a behavior which should’ve been the tip off right from the start that he wasn’t to be trusted, as everyone knows Instagram is for the feeble-willed.

“The constant questions over the last six weeks have proven a great distraction that has made it too difficult for me to serve the people of the 18th District with the high standards that they deserve and which I have set for myself,” Schock said. “I have always sought to do what’s best for my constituents and I thank them for the opportunity to serve.”

He may not be serving the people in any official capacity soon, but at least they can’t take away those abs.