We got a sneak preview of the surprisingly snarky season 2 of The X Factor the other day when we saw Demi Lovato get burned by the walking embodiment of a singing-jizz tissue, but it turns out there were many more zingers in store. “I feel uncomfortable with you even staring at me,” Brit Brit told uncle creepy, which was unknowingly poignant, because I’ve felt uncomfortable staring at her for the past few years myself, and not in the good bikini-region uncomfortable way I used to.
“I want to know who let you on stage.”
That’s what I’ve been saying about you too! *cut to a shot of Britney’s tour manager sweating like a southern lawyer in the corner*
She’s all over this highlight reel, bringing motherfuckers low. “I think you need to practice a little bit more,” she tells one hapless, galloping mess. In just a few short years, we’ve gone from “It’s Britney, bitch” to “It’s Britney: The Bitch” as some guy who’s a little too excited about everything says in this video, totally taking the air out my sails for what I thought was going to be a A+ zinger when I thought of the same one five seconds ago. Maybe I am HuffPo material after all!
As for our girl, is it possible that she’s just had a few too many bowls of her go-go juice before going on stage and feels loose, you might be asking? Not the case, apparently.
According to the website, the singer’s protective team has banned alcohol from the show’s set, and scoured the place to make sure every last drop was gone before the singer even arrived. The star’s hotel rider even demands that all alcohol be removed from the minibars, and states that no wine or liquor be offered as a gift.
Strangely that’s not the only thing Spears has banned from backstage. The Daily Mail makes the somewhat unbelievable claim that Spears has reportedly banned all pretty women backstage.
“Britney has stipulated that none of the backstage staff working with her are too pretty or stylish,” a source told the U.K. paper. HP
Now that’s the Britney we know and love.
But wait, are we just grading Britney on a curve here. Here’s a few more of her choice cut downs:
“The singing came in, and…it just wasn’t…very nice.”
“You need a new…teacher…to teach you how to sing.
Not exactly Don Rickles over here, (he’s an old comedian famous for his insult gags, young people). I’m not sure Britney did such a masterful job here so much as we’re treating this like we would when you see a bear riding a little tiny bicycle. Hee hee, look at that bear, doing people stuff!