Sometimes you have to destroy the village to save it, as the old Vietnam-era saying goes, although in the case of this new important science thing, the village is your balls. Researchers at the University of Southern California have completed a study that suggests a link between smoking ‘mad h3rb’ and testicular cancer, the most common type of cancer for men aged 15 to 45. In the study, they compared the drug history of men with testicular cancer to other healthier, albeit much more boring men.
“The investigators found that men with a history of using marijuana were twice as likely to have subtypes of testicular cancer called non-seminoma and mixed germ cell tumours,” The Daily Mail reports.
It’s not all bad news, however, because they also found evidence that other types of drugs may inhibit the development of the cancer, in what is definitely the best party-planning idea science has given us since those recent studies about drinking beer and semen. They found that bros who had, you know… *taps nose three times* reduced their risk of developing testicular cancer. On the down side, however, cocaine use basically destroys the sperm-producing cells where the cancer typically develops, but people who do that much coke probably shouldn’t be making babies anyway, so NBD.
“Since this is the first study in which an association between cocaine use and lower testis cancer risk is noted,” Doctor Victoria Cortessis, the researcher behind the study said, “additional epidemiological studies are needed to validate the results.” I think that means she wants me to call my dude. BRB, going to go dip my balls in a pile of powder and see what happens.