The DVR may have ruined the concept of collective real time television-watching, but a nation of aspirational Twitter hack comedians just might save it. Just log in during a big event like last night’s #121212concert for evidence of the incessant deluge of joke after predictable joke. For all the talk about how the internet has lowered the barriers for entry into the world of music, publishing, photography and on and on, it made me think that it’s the world of comedy that’s been most affected. Too easy to step up to the mic now.
At least that’s what I thought last night, and I’m not sure if a tweet counts as a binding contract, legally speaking, but I’m going to go ahead and reverse that stance again, because it’s music that’s been the true loser here after all . Just check out this new track “Peggy Bundy” from someone called Awkwafina (she went to the same school as Azaelia Banks and Nicki Minaj!) for everything that is wrong with contemporary music. (Keep in mind this is coming from a guy who has been genuinely charmed by Kreayshawn-wave for a long time.)
1) Shoehorned-in pop culture reference that does nothing and adds nothing besides pointless nostalgia.
2) 30-second insta-beat you could punch up on the laptop in the time it takes to push out a medium-sized dump.
3) Repetitive, hookless flow.
4) Black hole of charisma.
5) “Hipster” iconography.
6) Smoking pot is crazy!
7) Oh good, another “Teach Me How to Dougie” cadence.
8) Cocktail-recipe rap.
The only thing missing is a brashly comical and in your face approach to sex, which she fortunately covered in her last song “My Vag.” That’s all I could hear on a quick two listens, and I’ve got to stop now before too many more because I’m afraid I might actually start liking this. I have horrible taste.
UPDATE: Fuck. It got me. Flew a little too close to the sun yet again. This is now my jam.