Apparently even the hand of God can get a little frisky sometimes. Last week, a rabidly anti-gay pastor was arrested in Seymour, Indiana, for what else? Grabbing a stranger’s dick and trying to get a blow job from him. Gaylard Williams – which we can now safely assume to be the worst possible name for a self-loathing, gay preacher who is also a bit pudgy – allegedly approached the man near a lakefront as he sat in his car. According to the victim:
Williams allegedly “wiggled his fingers near his genitals” and told cops the pastor “tried to tickle me.”
When that failed, Williams tried groping the man’s groin.
Quizzed by cops, the younger man said Williams grabbed “everything” and “squeezed [his genitals] and he got a good handful.”
Instantly, the young man panicked and tried to convince his attacker that he wasn’t interested.
“He told Williams, ‘I don’t swing that way.’”
But, according to the report, Williams kept pushing the man for some fellatio: “The guy was trying to get him to suck his dick.”
After Gaylard attempted a bit more desperate, dick-suck chit-chat, the victim was able to scare the pastor away with the threat of a gun. He then followed Gaylard’s truck and was able to get his license plate number which he turned over to the police. Of course when police finally caught up with the married pastor and father of two, they also found gay pornography in his vehicle – which he suggested was a “promotional thing” the church had received. Clearly, Gaylard is not afraid to roll up his sleeves and do some hard-core research for his anti-LGBT rhetoric. Although it’s always glorious to see yet another dangerous hypocrite exposed, I can’t help but feel like this is an even sadder Boogie Nights out-take.