January 4, 2013

Angel Haze and Azaealia Banks are engaged in an EPIC RAP BEEF, and the internet is ABLAZE WITH EXCITEMENT about it. I was ablaze with indifference, which is a lower level heat, when I read about it last night, but then again I didn’t have a blog post due at the time, so here we are now.

“Main rap ladies get mad on the internet and then we looked at it” doesn’t sound like a reasonable way to spend our time, but who am I to judge, I’m the one writing this post. I can barely follow most of the disagreements in my own life, so I’m not going to try to figure out who said what and why, but I’m certainly not above posting a link to it so you beef-chasers can see it for yourself.

Who is really from New York? Who is jealous of who? Who is the best rapper in the world!!!??? Other important questions!

The important thing is the KNOCK DOWN DRAG OUT BATTLE resulted in a quickie diss track from Haze called “On The Edge” in which she provides Banks with a colorful map to the location of her shinebox. The good news: the track is hot fire. The bad news is the fact that it exists in the first place. The song is a thoroughly detailed list of every interaction the two, friends until now it seems, have had. I’m not exactly in tune with how being a tough rap person works, but I’m pretty sure keeping a list of everything a friend has said to you in texts and tweets and times you’ve hung out in the past and then sharing them with the world once the other person sort of maybe subtly sub-tweets you isn’t what I’d call DGAF HARD ASS? Seems like it’s on some librarian bibliography shit. Just to be safe though, from now I’m keeping a file on all of you guys and storing it away in my hate vault. Don’t so much as look at me sideways over the internet, or yr getting burnt.

SO WHO WON? Well, the fact that Haze put out a pretty awesome track works in her favor, but on the other hand, she definitely SEEMS MAD, so, as we all know, under internet law that means she automatically loses.

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