Professional party animal Andrew W.K. has a running advice column on the Village Voice called “Ask Andrew W.K.” where he dispenses matter-of-act wisdom on Big Topics like coping with the death of a friend and contemplating suicide. Two weeks ago, one of his answers went viral, probably because of all the heartbreaks, it dealt with the one young people can most relate to. In “How to Get Over a Devastating Break Up,” Andrew W.K. lays it out for a guy who was suddenly dumped by his high school sweetheart, who twisted the blade by admitting that she also cheated on him. “How do I stop all these feelings and forget about her?” he asks.
W.K.–known for his wild side–gives a response that is straightforward, earnest, and true:
You don’t stop all these feelings. You should feel devastated. Your heart should feel shattered. That’s how you can tell you were really in love, that you’re really alive, and you’re really a human being. It’s also how you can tell that you really allowed yourself to be truly open and intimate with someone else. Many people can’t handle the pain of really loving and caring about someone else, so they avoid intense relationships and the vulnerability that comes with them. You should take pride in the fact that you’ve been strong enough to be weak. The strongest people have the capacity to really let themselves feel. Sure, it hurts. But it’s also how you got to experience all those wonderful feelings too. Don’t let the pain trick you into closing your heart to the world and the future.
The rest of his response is here, and it’s worth a read.