BULLETT

It’s okay if you didn’t love The Dark Knight Rises, really. Sure, it’s an epically constructed film, filled with themes and imagery and acting and so forth, but it’s still a movie about a guy who dresses up like a bat and punches people in the face. (And, yes, that’s primarily what it’s about.) For most people, that would be enough to allow them to simply throw their hands up and accept the fact that it’s a popcorn movie, through and through, and any problems aren’t a big deal in the scope of things.

But the Internet being the Internet, it just can’t let any perceived slight go. A sampling of headlines in the last few days: “The Dark Knight Rises: 10 Flaws With The Film;”  ”What Worked & What Didn’t In The Dark Knight Rises;” “Holy Plot Holes, Batman! 9 Logical Gripes With The Dark Knight Rises;” “What Exactly Did Gordon-Levitt See in Batman’s Face? And Other Dark Knight Rises Discussion Points;” “15 Things That Bothered Us About “The Dark Knight Rises;” “Ten Things That Were Stupid About The Dark Knight Rises;” and most histrionically, “The Dark Knight Rises may be worst film ever made.”

People! Get ahold of yourselves. It’s a summer blockbuster, released in July to get asses in seats with an entertaining film, not the next 400 Blows. Here’s the biggest plot hole of all: It’s about a guy who dresses up like a bat and punches people in the face. Like, no way would that ever happen. Everything you know is in the movie itself, and most of these complaints are so nitpicky that it’s easy to imagine Christopher Nolan responding to them with a perturbed glance, and not any real explanation. The real top entry on all of these “What sucked about The Dark Knight Rises” lists should simply be: “Because no one will stop complaining about how much The Dark Knight Rises sucked.”