February 8, 2013

There are plenty of great things to be found in Florida, as there are in any state. Kitty Pryde is from there. Disney World is there, too. LeBron James plays basketball there. But there are some things that happen in Florida that are too strange to happen anywhere else, stretching whatever acceptable levels of skepticism over human behavior. Stories you’ll read like like “Florida Man Says He’s Obama and Attempts to Abduct Children,” “Florida Man Shoots Himself in Crotch With Flare Gun,” “Florida Man Repeatedly Called 911 Saying He Needed a Ride to Mexico”… are you noticing a trend?

The so-called “Florida Man” is in all of them, which has birthed the best Twitter account of the nascent afternoon: @_FloridaMan, which catalogues any headline that begins that way to form a perfectly curated list of Lynchian goofiness. This is what Floridians do: they build pet cars for their parrots, perform back alley butt injections, threaten to kill President Obama on Facebook… I mean, not all of them, and certainly not enough to blacklist the entire state. (My best friend is from Miami!) But it just wouldn’t make as much sense or provide as much material if it was @_AlabamaMan, @_IllinoisMan, or anywhere else.

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