Culture

9 Black Metal Bands Share Their Terrifying Thoughts on the New Pope

Culture

9 Black Metal Bands Share Their Terrifying Thoughts on the New Pope

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The worldwide love affair with Pope Francis I was heartwarming and historic for millions of Catholics – not to mention news junkies across the globe – but there is one niche segment of society that isn’t exactly enamored with the new pontiff or the accompanying media/public fawning: the pitch black metal world.

Notoriously anti-Christian bands–angry, extreme metal shredders and Satan worshipping, corpse-painted purveyors of the dark and bleak–have all sounded off to BULLETT about the new pope. Some were sarcastic and some were sharply critical, while others spewed deep-rooted hatred and anger, pointing to the celebration of the new pope as a symbol of misplaced idolatry, dangerous blind loyalty, institutional corruption and even brainwashing.

Blasphemy is a way of life for many of these acts, so beware: some responses are not for the timid.

Here’s what they told us:

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King ov Hell, bassist for Norwegian Satanic/black metal band God Seed and former member of controversial Satanic band Gorgoroth, which came under fire for a 2004 concert in Poland that featured real severed goat heads impaled on spikes and nude models on crucifixes:

“We visited Pope John Paul ll’s birthplace in Krakow, Poland some years ago and ended up in a fight with the Catholic world and accused of blasphemy. We better keep the tradition and go to Argentina and see if Jorge Mario Bergolio also still lives in the dark ages. The Catholic church is the biggest liar of them all. It’s a pity over one billion people follow a faith of superstition and control over free will and thought.”

 

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Oderus Urungus, frontman of notoriously anti-Catholic extreme/death metal band GWAR, which routinely eviscerates and violates puppet versions of priests and popes on-stage:
“I am delighted with their choice of a pedophile-protecting pervert with only one lung as the next stupid fucking pope. How do I know he’s a pervert? I just saw some footage of him outside his new house, St. Peter’s, making out with some crippled dude that looked like fucking Gollum. I mean, he was laying his hands all over him. But I guess anything would be an improvement over the last one, you know the one that was a Nazi? I have always supported the papal process because it gives GWAR new losers to kill, so look for Francis on the fall GWAR tour.”

 

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Hour of Penance, an atheist black/death metal band from Italy: 

“I think the Vatican decided to kick out [former Pope Benedict XVI] to cover up the recent scandals in the Vatican’s offices and put a new puppet on the throne to earn some respect from the Catholics. [But] this ‘change’ doesn’t’ actually affect our opinion on the Vatican and the Catholic church. It’s crazy to see how people here in Italy completely forgot what our country is going through at the moment to completely dedicate their attention and their hopes on the new pope. Bottom line of the story: in 2013, Christianity still has the ability to brainwash people.”

 

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Vattnet Viskar, a New Hampshire-based blackened doom band:
“The papacy as a religious institution holds about as much validity as Ned Flanders. Let’s hope he at least allows the priests to wear condoms this time.”

 

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Dani Filth, frontman of Cradle of Filth, a British black/extreme metal band that once came under fire for T-shirts depicting a masturbating nun emblazoned with the words “Jesus is a Cunt.” Members themselves once incited outrage for wearing T-shirts that said “I Love Satan” to the Vatican:

“I think it’s a crying shame . . . Suckers! See you in hell!”

 

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Teloch (aka Morten Iversen), guitarist for Norwegian black metal band Nidingr. He’s also been a member of black metal pioneers Mayhem as well as the decidedly un-Catholic act NunFuckRitual:

“What iz pope?”

 

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Menno, bassist for L.A. black metal band Lightning Swords of Death:

“This new ringleader, mob boss, or whatever you want to call him . . . is really putting himself firmly in charge as the CEO of the most wealthy, powerful, successful, corrupt, shameless, violent, reactionary multinational organization in the history of the world. This means more people will get scammed out of what little money and dignity they have, more children will be molested by twisted old men who will never pay for their crimes and more women will have to suffer humiliation and persecution, just for being born with a vagina. Ave Lucifer!”

 

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Nathan Opposition, guitarist for Texas-based dark rock band Ancient VVisdom and a self-proclaimed “Satanic philosopher and occult enthusiast”:

“He seems like a dick. For the leader of the most evil cult known to mankind, he sure has an honest face.”

 

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Tas Danazoglou of Satan’s Wrath, a Greek Satanic/black metal band, said, with tongue firmly in cheek:

“We are very happy and excited for the new pope. May the virgin marry bless him and sweet baby Jesus crown his efforts with success. We wish to him and his family happiness and prosperity. Oooh angels and cherubs of the skies, favor this poor soul and guide him to the light of the lord.”

Father forgive us, for we have sinned . . .