Now that the ultra-private Kristen Stewart has issued a shocking, ultra-public apology for her “fleeting moment” with married director Rupert Sanders, we turn our attention to the inevitably awkward PR blitz that will precede the November 18th release of Breaking Dawn: Part 2. As Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone recently proved, touring the globe to promote a movie with your significant other can be good times had by all, which definitely won’t be the case for Kstew and Rpatz (can we still call them that?) who, regardless of whether or not they’re still a couple, will be forced to transition from softball questions about their rumoured relationship, to much harsher questions about its demise. Luckily, the beleaguered duo will have some of the industry’s top executives formulating a plan (probably as we speak) to salvage what could be one of the most disastrous marketing campaigns for a major blockbuster we’ve ever seen. If we were sitting in on one of the many emergency meetings that will take place at Summit in the coming days and weeks ahead, here’s what we would suggest in a totally non-professional way.
Cancel all interviews with Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson.
The one thing the Twilight franchise has going for it, is that even if its two leads avoid the late night talk show circuit, skip out on a few European press conferences, and duck in through the back door at the string of premieres, Twihards will still see the movie a dozen times over, leaving the film’s expected massive box-office haul firmly in tact. It’s the folks that were planning on buying a ticket based on how much Stewart will “miss shooting in Vancouver” that studio heads should be worried about.
Make all interviews with Stewart and Pattinson highly controlled.
This means absolutely no press conferences, where eager journalists have been known to hurl squirm-inducing questions from the bleachers (sometimes under the guise of career-related ones) about a star’s personal life. It also probably means no Letterman, who’s also prone to going off script in order to get the most profoundly awkward reaction from his guests. Instead, all interviews must be pre-taped, with a select number of carefully-screened journalists forced to stick to a short number of pre-approved, film-related questions. Anything else would not be aired, and would result in the journalist being barred from all future Summit Entertainment press junkets.
Make it all about Taylor.
Fortunately, Breaking Dawn: Part 2’s laurels don’t rest solely on Stewart and Pattinson. For a while there, Taylor Lautner was being touted as the franchise’s true breakout star, with early whispers of a “young Tom Cruise” emanating from the salivating mouths of Hollywood insiders. Then Abducted happened, and the buzz on Lautner cooled considerably. That can all change when BD2 is released and Lautner’s bare chest once again makes him one of Hollywood’s hottest young actors. If he’s able to handle the impending doom with some Clooney-esque charm and self-deprecation, Lautner—whose next role is as Frat Boy Andy in Grown Ups 2—could emerge with a much needed rejuvenation of a suddenly uncertain career.
Just embrace it.
As the old Hollywood saying goes: There’s no such thing as bad publicity, words Stewart and Pattinson may be forced to live by until the Twilight series finally comes to an end. Some might argue that the correlation between Tom Cruise’s couch-hopping antics and MI3’s anemic box-office disprove that time-tested mantra, but Cruise was already perceived as something of a wack job whose career had already peaked. Stewart and Pattinson’s careers are still in their nascent stages, and can probably withstand a scandal or two. Besides, won’t people want to watch, simply to bid farewell to one of Hollywood’s most talked about couples? And isn’t our fascination with Stewart based on how uncomfortable she seems in the spotlight? If you thought she was bad before, just wait until she and Pattinson accept their inevitable award for Best Kiss at next year’s MTV Movie Awards, because you know that’s happening.