NEW YORK CITY! The Big Apple! If you can make it here you can make it anywhere, they say. Concrete jungle where dreams are made of, they say. The hub of the universe! It’s the greatest city on earth, and you won’t find anything else like it, no matter how many others 1s of cities you live in before you move here. With all due respect to Buzzfeed’s 23 Signs You’ve Lived in New York City Too Long, which we’ve already StumbleUpon’d and shared on Google+, we’d like to offer up our own list of 11 ‘Only In New York City’ Ways You Know You’re a Person in New York City.
1. When you leave the city and a cashier smiles at you and says “Oh where are you from?” you get into a choreographed dance-basketball fight with her gang because what is this even?
2. You’ve eaten a famous New York City “slice” at Ray’s on Houston, and probably done coke in the shitter there because the door guy at Mercury Lounge was “looking at you weird.”
3. You have AIDS and it’s the ’90s.
4. You’ve watched a human being crushed to death on the subway tracks and thought “LOL here we go again, gonna be late to my media internship!”
5. You remember when downward dog in Times Square meant something a lot different than this, if you know what I mean, but you don’t since you literally weren’t born before Times Square was a theme park!
6. In the summer, you consider the wind from an approaching subway car to be “a nice breeze” because it’s hot in the summer time in New York City.
7. Here’s you at your job.
8. You’ve participated in a gang-related homicide.
9. You regularly talk shit about every other city in the world while tracing a 5 block radius of culture around the shitty walk-up you fell ass-backwards into in whatever random neighborhood you could afford in Brooklyn. But in a cute hashtaggy way.
10. Taxi cabs are expensive, so in lieu of traveling home in one, you avail yourself of the public transportation system, and never once do so without thinking “I’m riding the public transportation system.”
11. They filmed an episode of Girls on your friend’s block one time and her tweet about it got 7 favorites.